I could lie and say that I remember college just like it was yesterday, but that isn't true. In fact, college seems like a lifetime ago, like something I experienced in a previous life. Time made sense in college. I always had a roommate, and if she wasn't home, I could always knock on someone else's door. I drank coffee at midnight, sat on the hood of my car to examine stars, and drove up and down the Colonial Parkway in the middle of the night. Those times felt idealistic. I could be anyone and do anything. If I wanted, I could find truth in my freshman hall to the tune of the Macarena, or take a criminology class and aspire to be a sociologist. There were problems in the world, but I could fix them or at least work on fixing them.
Now, it's different. I go to the same job everyday, I live in an apartment with three cats, I spend time with friends, most of whom are married, and the thought of dancing to 80's music in public doesn't even cross my mind. Idealism has been replaced with realism, and I fear that I may never find that truth I've been searching for, or maybe what I'm searching for doesn't even exist. I can't live for the future, because the path has not been created for me, and I am not sure that the things that I want will come into being. I can't knock on a hallmates' door and if I knock on someone's door, I have to worry that a baby might be sleeping.
Today, two of my friends and I will meet one of our good friends from college who now lives in Vegas and is home for Thanksgiving. I have not seen her in four years. I think about the four of us now. She is in Vegas working at a casino. My other friend has just announced that she is pregnant. There are so many things that have changed since college. I am excited to relive some of those years, yet at the same time, I am nastalgic for them, nastalgic for the times when our lives were all on the same pace.
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